Nobody Keeps Secrets
by meevah
Summary: ON HIATUS, unfortunately. Everyone had their secrets. I had mine. He had his. We had ours. We may not have had hearts... we may not have been considered human. But to have a secret, doesn’t that mean you’ve got something? AkuRoku.
1. No One, Nobody

Eek. Why am I writing this? I'm sorry. D: My muse simply had to be fulfilled! I'm not sure if I'll finish this, but I do like the pairing of RoxasXAxel, so... yeah. If I write anything more than this first chapter, then that's probably where it shall lead! Lawl. I need to finish AGS. x.x;; And yes, I do like to use the words of KH in more ways than what they mean. Harharhar. It makes me feel witty. :D

Disclaimer: I don't own the worlds of Kingdom Hearts 1 nor 2. ;-; Snivel.

-

Chapter 1 – No One, Nobody

-

_Everyone had their secrets. I had mine. He had his. We had ours. We may not have had hearts... we may not have been considered human. But to have a secret, doesn't that mean you've got something?_

_We cannot love. Is that right? Or is it wrong? It's not that we are not allowed to love; it's that we aren't supposed to have the ability to love. Very simple. Or was it? I've had questions like these going through my mind for a long time now. Maybe if I had some kind of clue as to why things like us are allowed to exist without 'existing,' I might find some peace in being called a Nobody._

_I may never find that solace now._

--

Roxas had been waking up with a stiff pain in his left shoulder for a few days now. He cringed as he sat up in bed, just as quickly falling back onto the pillow. The hurt echoed in his shoulder blade for a few moments before he deemed it safe to attempt a roll out of bed rather than something that might require the use of that particular arm.

The blonde was enviable. He'd had someone jealous of him ever since he first appeared at the Organization's little fort, and maybe even before then. Maybe even when he'd been whoever he was before; certainly, though, no one else had such brilliantly blue eyes, right?

_Such lovely eyes... I could hate him for those eyes. I think I will._

_You hate everyone, Lar; it makes no difference for you._

_You're one to talk, Xiggy._

He briefly glanced at his reflection in the mirror beside his bed. Despite the Castle That Never Was's military and even ethereal appearance, it had its normal side.

"Axel, you come back with my toothbrush, it's not for—AGH, no!"

_Fairly_ normal side.

A red-haired male burst into Roxas's room, disregarding any intrusion of privacy and hid himself behind the blonde's bed, chuckling madly to himself. Roxas felt a twinge of annoyance as this all occurred and went to shut his door before having it shoved open further by an angry-looking man with choppily short, dirty blonde hair.

"Axel!" the older blonde yelled, apologizing to Roxas in a somewhat quieter fashion before proceeding to practically strip search the boy's room. "Ax, you better not be doing what I think you're doing with my toothbrush, it's a _fuggin_' _toothbrush_, don't run it through that rat's nest of a hairstyle of yours!"

"Demyx, he's—" Roxas nearly told where the other Nobody was located, but it was quickly revealed as Demyx's unintended insult finally hit its target.

"Woah, hey, what?" Axel's bright red spikes poked up as he peered out peevishly at Demyx from his hiding spot. "You're one to talk, Dem, your hairstyle bites! Got it memorized?" He furrowed his brows as Demyx quickly turned to where Axel's voice came from.

"Aha!"

"Eep, damn!" A scurrying sound was heard as, Roxas guessed, Axel attempted to hide under his bed. He soon saw Demyx dive in under the bed from the side he'd been closest too, which had been opposite of Axel's side. Roxas sighed and went back to the mirror on the wall, returning to his earlier, bored activity of ruffling and mussing his hair the way he liked for it to look.

A couple more curses flowed out from under the bed as, he suspected, one of the two hit himself on one of the bedposts or something. Laughter soon followed, before being turned into a rather strangled sound and then silence.

The silence wasn't as silent as Roxas wanted it to be, however, as he felt he could hear the stares coming at him from under his own bed. He quickly glared at the four eyes watching him and they hid with loud rustling and snickering. This had to end.

"If you're going to argue and spy on people and generally be a couple of lunatics, why don't you do it in someone else's room?" Roxas angrily questioned the two.

"Well, Larxene started hurting us, and then you showed up." Axel slid out from under the bed and stayed in his position, lying on his stomach on the smooth flooring. Demyx scooted out as well, a rather red and hairy toothbrush in hand, and sat up. Roxas vaguely wondered why the hell Axel was brushing his hair with that in the first place, even as a joke, and simply brushed it off as him being an idiot.

"So what, I'm the most defenseless thing, now?" Roxas asked, offended by the notion.

Demyx laughed. "No! You're just—"

"Cute."

Roxas was caught off guard and his face certainly showed it, blue eyes widening considerably. Axel grinned up at the boy, his head resting on his folded arms in front of himself.

"Just shut up and leave already," Roxas growled, returning his attention (or at least looking like he'd returned his attention to it) to his reflection. Demyx obeyed, chuckling in amusement to himself, making the younger blonde sincerely hope that the red hair in Demyx's toothbrush left it somehow beyond repair.

Axel, however, merely rolled over, shut his eyes and lay his head on his hands, as if to make himself even more at home in the boy's room.

"You're an idiot and I hope you know that," Roxas muttered, giving up on even looking like he was interested at all in the mirror or how he appeared that day.

"You're too kind, Rox," Axel replied, light-heartedly. It was impossible to get this guy to be serious, wasn't it? "I mean, I always snap at people who give me compliments. It's just the kinda guy I've always aimed to be."

"That wasn't a compliment, it was an insult," Roxas argued, glaring down at the redhead from where he stood right above where Axel's head was. Roxas held back the urge to crush Axel's head with his foot, or at least try to crush him. Axel smirked up at him with piercingly green eyes, reopened to see just how close the blonde decided to come.

"It was the most honest thing I've said today, besides when I told Demyx his hair sucked," he replied, still grinning like the Cheshire Cat. "Maybe all week, too."

"You're a pathological liar," Roxas replied, knowingly.

"Oh pshh, Larxene's a know-it-all, that's not true!" Axel sat up and then stood, towering quickly over the younger Nobody. He stared down at Roxas now, crossing his arms defensively.

Axel was long and lean compared to Roxas's smaller, still more boyish frame, and compared to some of the other members of the Organization, Roxas certainly would qualify as "cute." However, he'd gladly not think he could be described in such a word, preferring at the very least... endearing? Yes, even that would be better than _cute_.

Of course he could have been called worse words. Adorable. Sweet. Pretty?

Attractive? Uh oh.

Roxas could almost feel himself being grateful for the word 'cute.'

"Roxas," Axel's particular tone of voice cut into his musings, rousing the blonde from thought. "Roxas!"

"Yeah, what?"

"Yes?" Axel asked, making Roxas assume he was asking permission for something again that he'd missed when he was thinking. He shook his head, wondering why he couldn't remember a thing Axel had said.

"... yeah, whatever. I'm going." Roxas turned away and went to leave the room, only to be held back by the older Organization member. "What is it _now_?" he asked exasperatedly, not even turning his head to look at the redhead.

"So you'll be there?"

"_What_?" Roxas turned now, glaring at Axel with brightly lit eyes. "Be where?"

Axel scowled in bemusement. "I asked if you'd come see this thing with me later today and you agreed. I just... wanted to make sure...," his voice trailed off, as he let go of Roxas's arm and stared at him curiously. "Were you even listening?" Axel asked, amused.

"Yes!" Roxas said. "Well... sort of. I mean... what are we going to see?"

The redhead grinned, bringing up a hand and using it to ruffle the boy's hair messily. "You'll find out. Just go to the center of Dark City and then follow me from there."

Roxas opened his mouth to ask further, but before he could say anything, Axel hurried out of the room and out of sight. The blonde gazed, alone, at the open door to his room and sighed.

"... now I _have_ to go," he murmured, annoyed. Secrets were so annoying.

--

Rather short, no? I suppose... but I had to write it. Took me about two or three hours, too. x.x;;; Rawr. –dies- If you really want more, **_review_**. I may end up updating faster or something... o.o; Not sure.


	2. Hiding My Heart

Well, this chapter came out rather quickly, I guess. o.O About a week or so after? Okay, maybe not that fast. I was hoping to update faster, but this ended up becoming a rather long chapter! I'm hoping I can write all the chapters this long, honestly... I like long chapters (although this one is only what? 10 pages? Phew).

Anyway, I'm so thankful for all of the reviews! I really didn't expect much of a reply to this, but quite a few of you apparently took a liking to it and I'm quite please. n.n Haha. Some of you didn't comment, which I'm a bit sad about... though you did end up adding it to your favorites list. o.O; Either way, I'm happy for your support:D

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, and I don't know if it'd be as enjoyable if I did! XD; Although we'd certainly see a lot more AkuRoku than what we got... lawl. :3

-

Chapter 2 – Hiding My Heart

-

_I wanted to get away from him, ignore him, and dislike him even. I wanted to push him away and tell him he wasn't wanted around me. At one point, I even wanted to seriously kill him for making me so mad, though that was only once. I'd never want that again._

_I wanted a lot of things..._

_He gave me things, too. Too many things. Things I hadn't even dreamed of, nor thought anyone was capable of dreaming of. I think he spoiled me sometimes._

_He'd always say I was the one spoiling him, though._

--

Roxas sighed, walking the whitewashed halls of The Castle That Never Was. Such a dreary name, though it held true to its purpose: to contain creatures that were never meant to be. To house them and keep them safe from the world and maybe even keep the world safe from them.

It failed in that latter aspect, though, and would later fail in the former as well. But again, that's another story.

He brushed a hand through his blonde locks, always feeling a bit lonely whenever he walked these hallways. Even if they were filled to the brim with bustling life and busy people, he'd still feel lonely. It was just the general air of the entire castle; it gave off an empty life to reflect the lives within.

In other words, it only served to make Roxas feel as empty on the outside as he did on the inside. He wished, half-heartedly (and that should not be a term taken at all literally, dears), that something exciting and different would happen. Not to say that different things didn't happen everyday, not with those two morons, Axel and Demyx, around.

Hell, even Xigbar and Larxene would sometimes get into the ruckus, if usually only by accident. Well, if you could call 'accident' as being whenever Ax and Dem would piss either the Savage Nymph or Freeshooter off unintentionally with one of their little messes.

Roxas would wonder why Xemnas hadn't just turned the two into No_things_, yet, and figure that maybe they were useful. Or that maybe Xemnas was secretly entertained by them, as well. He rolled his eyes, wondering how anyone could be entertained by such... such acts! But then again, Xemnas was probably more of a sadist than even Larxene... who knew what he liked and disliked.

"Where are you goin', Roxy?"

Roxas slowed then stopped, not wanting to appear as though he'd been as surprised as he really had been. The young blonde had gotten a bit of an image as a stoic in the Castle, and for some reason, he felt like he had to keep that image. It might've been the only connection to being an actual _person_ that he had, after all. Even simple 'images' and 'assumptions of character' people would make on one another could easily be used as an actual personality and sense of self.

Though it would probably take a fellow Nobody to understand just what these Nobodies went through to have a sense of self.

"Nowhere too interesting," he replied, finally, looking back at Larxene. She eyed him like a hawk from where she stood, leaning against an open door he'd passed about five feet back. Roxas could practically feel her icy eyes pulling him apart like sharp, prickling claws, investigating every move and stance of his as if it were her hobby.

"Oh?" she asked, raising a slender, pale brow in question. Now she had to know. "Secrets, secrets are no fun. Secrets are for everyone," Larxene stated off the rhyme, coolly. "Come on, Roxas, dear." The ends of her bow-like lips curved up, an appearance that may have been enticing to the likes of anyone other than stone-faced Roxas.

"No." He turned around again, to continue walking. She frowned.

"You're no fun, either," Larxene pointed out, tilting her head up to glare down at him further as he walked on. And then her form wasn't where she had been, reappearing in a blink of the eye elsewhere. To be specific, in front of Roxas. She stopped him with a forefinger to his forehead, the younger blonde looked annoyed now.

"Roxas needs to learn to tell Miss Larxene where he is going," she said slowly and carefully, to allow him to soak in every poison-laced vowel and consonant. "Otherwise, Roxas could find himself in a horrible bind one day, with no one around to help him."

"Roxas doesn't need anyone around to help him."

Larxene's brows furrowed now.

"Oh, really?" She pushed hard on his forehead and released him, the boy tilting back a ways before bringing himself back to his original position, feeling an indent where her fingernail had been.

"Really," Roxas verified, not even bothering to look up at her with his clear blue eyes.

"Hmf, have it your way, then." She disappeared in a black flash again, and Roxas couldn't see where she had gone this time, but assumed it wasn't so important either way. If she followed him, it was technically Axel's problem, not his after all.

The lone female member of the Organization had been giving him frightening looks ever since he'd appeared. Axel had told him she gave everyone such scary glares when Roxas had pointed it out to him, but the teen Nobody still seemed to feel she may have had something _personal_ against him.

Just what, he may never learn, but it was odd. If she hated him for his eyes alone (which was silly to him, his eyes weren't all that special, he woke up with them every day... it's not like they changed or anything or did anything too different), surely she wouldn't care where he was going or what he was doing. Just that he was going there and doing it. Larxene read really questionable books, as well, Roxas noticed. Maybe she was just... supposed to be an odd girl.

Roxas continued onwards through the brightly lit corridors, their wide passages not helping his feeling of overall emptiness. Maybe a bit of different color or added decoration here and there would change things...

Speaking of added decoration, as Roxas returned his attention to a place where it would actually be of use in helping him not run into things and other people, he realized Zexion would be passing uncomfortably close if he kept his distance from the wall any longer. Closing the distance between him and the smooth expanse of white, Roxas nodded a silent greeting to Zexion, whom merely waved back with a gloved hand, not even bothering to glance down at the shorter member of Organization XIII.

Roxas hardly minded. He thought Zexion was perhaps even creepier than Larxene, if only because he hadn't bothered to speak to Roxas once since the blonde had appeared at the Castle. He knew Zexion spoke, he'd heard his voice quite a few times in Organization meetings and even in fairly casual conversations with the likes of Demyx. But, for some reason, Zexion hadn't once directed a comment towards Roxas at all.

He didn't ignore him. He just... didn't speak to him. This was what got to Roxas more than Larxene's bitter words and looks. And so, because he wasn't sure of the older Nobody's intent due to lack of interaction, Roxas was more wary around him than with the others, even moving over to another side of the room when Zexion came near.

Finally, the doors that served as both the entrance and exit for The Castle That Never Was were in Roxas's view and his pace increased a bit by this sight. He wasn't running late to Axel's little get-together or anything, but getting out of the Castle was always a welcome thing for the teen. Even Dark City, a Heartless-filled town shrouded in forever night and lit by electric lights like some city that never slept, held more life than the Castle. At least the Heartless were fun to smack around, anyway, according to his fellow members. He hadn't tried getting near any. Of course, Roxas hadn't walked around Dark City since he'd first... appeared in this world, after all. That probably had some part in him having not seen a Heartless too close up, as well.

-

_Numbing cold dripped down his soaked hair, leaving him shaking in its unending wake. The rain was falling like dulled down knives, cutting dimly into his reddened-from-cold skin, leaving colder and colder spots with each drop. He had no clue how he'd gotten there nor where he'd been before. Had he always been there? Maybe... this was all he could remember and so it felt like all that there was to life. To existing. He had no desire for hopes, dreams, loves... Others' lives did not even exist in his current state of mind._

_All that was there was the rain._

_His back hurt from shivering so much and for so long, but he couldn't stop himself. How long had it been? Had he even an idea of time? What was going on?_

_"... Nnn..." The blonde bit his bottom lip and stared straight ahead, dimly. His eyes certainly held neither life nor a want to life. They were empty, like his inside. He could've sworn he'd been a part of something... someone... anything just moments earlier. What had happened? Why did he feel so..._

_Alone?_

_"Hey, kid." A voice came from down the alleyway, echoing faintly between the tall walls of the buildings the blonde had situated himself between, staring mindlessly at the brick texture of the building before him and sitting propped up against the one behind._

_The blonde didn't move, merely shook in his spot and stared ahead. He did not acknowledge anything going on, at least not yet._

_"Kid." This time, the tone was a bit more insistent and annoyed. One could tell the speaker didn't like to be ignored._

_But still, nothing. The blonde boy let out a sigh this time, but it was clearly coincidence, or something of the like._

_"Okay, that's it."_

_After an echoing of footsteps made its way towards him, the blonde soon found himself pulled up roughly by the arm, forced to stare into another set of vibrantly colored eyes, these ones a piercing shade of green. They bore into his pool-like eyes firmly, requesting some kind of response._

_"Are you going to pay attention, or what?" A thin, fire-engine red eyebrow, similar shade to the shock of red hair that flowed and spiked its way out from behind the older male's head, raised itself with question._

_"...hnn," was all he gained as a reply, if it could be considered even that._

_"Hello?" The redhead dropped the younger male's arm, the latter soon falling back to the ground like a doll. His fair features even reminded the taller being of a porcelain piece of work, shaped and sculpted to capture hearts._

_What a coincidence, that whole 'capture hearts' thing. He would've chuckled if it had been another time that he thought of this._

_"You're a good-looking brat, but a brat nonetheless," the red-haired man muttered, scratched the back of his head. "Wake up and get up, I don't feel like being __too patient today." He resisted kicking the blonde, instead opting to pick him up again and merely shake him. "Come on."_

_"... what's... my..."_

_"Mmm?" He listened close, putting his head close to the boy's face to hear. "What?"_

_"... What's my... na..."_

_"I can't tell you that," he quickly replied, realizing the question. "You'll have to remember that for yourself and tell ol' Xemmy." The redhead soon heard one of the most miserable sighs he'd ever had to hear thus far. "OH, it isn't that bad! Geezus."_

_The blonde finally found himself the will to move his eyes and focus them on the one he was speaking (if you could say that...) to._

_"Then who are...?"_

_"Axel," the taller one replied, curtly. "A-X-E-L. Got it memorized?"_

_"Axel," the blonde repeated, taking himself from Axel's hands and standing by himself, if still weakly. "... where are we?"_

_"I'm not the guy you should be askin' these things," Axel responded, though it was obvious he would probably know the simple answers to the blonde's simple questions. "I'm just a mere messenger boy, and right now I've got a package to bring to a certain Xemnas," he smirked, though the expression didn't reach his eyes._

_"... alright."_

_"Now come on, Nameless," Axel suddenly said, pushing the blonde in front of him with a hand. "I was hoping I wouldn't have had to wait all night for you and I ended up doing just that, agh, what a waste of time." His words indicated annoyance, but his tone of voice didn't exactly match it the way the shorter being thought they should have._

_"S... sorry," the blonde found the right word._

_"Whatever, not like I really care." Sharp, green eyes avoided the eye contact that was now being given. "Now move it!"_

-

Roxas retook the path he and Axel had taken that first day he had been here, a surge of memories behind each step and each glance from side to side. He remembered that trashcan being there... and that litter there, too! Roxas practically reveled in his ability to remember everything that had happened on that first day, though his face showed no change in emotion.

He was excited because this meant that it wasn't him who had problems remembering things. It must've been what Xemnas had told him about.

His... 'circumstance.' Whatever his circumstance was, then, it was the reason he couldn't remember. When Axel had brought Roxas to the Organization leader, the man had bore down into Roxas's being with his fierce eyes.

The memory of that frightened Roxas just like it had when it was happening. The first contact he had with someone else was with Axel, who, despite all appearances, owned a much more pleasant personality than Xemnas.

Xemnas's sharp, shaped features personified his stony-faced being completely. Because he had no heart, he didn't pretend like he did. Not like the other Nobodies in the Castle... everyone else clung to their hearts' memories, holding onto their personalities as much as they could.

Roxas couldn't do that.

Xemnas chose not to. Roxas didn't feel so lonely when he thought of this, though he wasn't sure why he'd felt lonely before.

Oh, yes... no memories. He would forget that the others weren't like him. It wasn't like they spoke about their past selves or anything like that. It must've been a secret clinging onto that they all did, trying to keep a stoic front but keeping hold of what they once were with slipping hands and frantic need.

They needed to still feel human. This was, apparently, why Xemnas had come up with the plot to use Kingdom Hearts to give them all hearts again. These thirteen followed him just to regain a sense they'd lost thanks to several reasons.

Axel had shared one of these reasons with Roxas after they had left Xemnas's wing of the Castle (because he had his own wing, of course). Apparently Xemnas and another five members of the Organization had been working together some time before they were Nobodies, doing work on the study of the heart. These studies went awry, however, and these six ended up the way Roxas now knew them.

Nobodies. Not exactly the pinnacle of existence, but the blonde definitely thought it was one step up from not existing at all. At times, anyway. Other times, he wondered if it would ache less to be erased from the world.

Just like the wild Nobodies who roamed the streets of Dark City, and even the worlds beyond this one, Roxas (along with the other Organization members) also felt an inner urge to be complete and whole. But, unlike the wild Nobodies, Roxas didn't carry out on that instinct to be complete. He didn't go searching for someone with a heart, looking to take it for his own. Nobodies were above Heartless, and the Organization members, Roxas included, were above the Nobodies. It was simple as that.

Roxas felt a cool chill go through the air and shuddered slightly, remembering the cold rain that had bled its way into his skin the last time he'd been out here. Now the sky was very clear, still dark and night-like as ever, but cloudless. It held the chill of night air, despite it being the beginning of day, and he walked through a billow of mist that had curled out from an alleyway. Now that he looked at it, it seemed as though the rain clouds from just a few weeks before had fallen to the ground, as his walking path had begun to get foggier and foggier with each step.

It was unsettling.

The entirety of Dark City was mysterious, shrouding its secrets in mist, fog, and darkness. It was distrusting of its own inhabitants, keeping even their paths hidden from knowledge at times. Thinking of this, Roxas now felt alone outside, too. If even an inanimate world did not want to trust him and include him in it, he really did _not_ belong, did he?

"Roxas!" The blonde's eyes shot up from where they'd been staring thoughtfully at the ground. He looked around, but all he saw was the dense mist, licking and trailing across the bare skin on his neck and face. The rest of him was covered in the Organization outfit, where the fog could not reach.

"Axel?" Roxas called back, turning around in 360 degrees to find where the redhead's voice was coming from. He still didn't see the older man anywhere. "Axel wh—"

He felt a gloved hand cover over his mouth, stopping any further sound from reaching any decibels higher than a muffled noise. A body had also found itself behind Roxas, and the blonde could feel the familiar height difference between them whenever the person behind him would breathe in and out.

"Shhh," came Axel's voice into his ear, and Roxas felt a wave of heat spread from that side of his face to the other. He briefly thanked the mist for perhaps covering up that odd reaction. "... be careful out here, Blondie." Roxas could hear the smile in that sarcastic tone.

He roughly turned his head away from Axel's hand, pulling himself away from the taller male's reach.

"What are you doing?" Roxas questioned him, suspiciously. "You said you wanted to show me something, so come on. Where is it?" He suddenly felt like getting it all over with so he could return to his room and do nothing for the rest of the day. It wasn't a very welcoming idea otherwise, but he'd begun to feel avoidant of Axel and his room, while obviously not the most private place in the world, was much better than out here.

"Tch, where's the fun in rushing these things, Rox?" Axel asked him, his silhouette like a black and red shadow behind the whitish grey of everything else. Roxas could see his hands go up as he spoke, the redhead's usual animated way of speaking even being apparent in the fog.

"I didn't know we were having fun," Roxas replied, steadily. He peered up warily at where Axel's head was, the only clue to this being the jagged red outline at the top of the shadow he was talking to.

"Oh, don't be that way," Axel laughed. He closed the distance between the two and now Roxas could see his bright, green eyes. "Besides, Dollface" he continued, a hand soon appearing under Roxas's chin to push his gaze up towards Axel's eyes, "it's right over here, come on."

"Dollface," Roxas repeated, in a very annoyed tone. His glare held no amusement at the statement. Axel merely chuckled, releasing his hold on the boy's face, and turned, indicating for the blonde to follow him. Roxas obeyed, despite half of him willing him to go some other way, any other way, as long as it wasn't where Axel was leading him.

He blindly followed Axel's shape for a few minutes, the redhead apparently knowing where he was going despite the dense mist blocking anything but the buildings' lower halves from sight.

"Not much longer, Rox," Axel reassured the blonde, probably fully aware that Roxas was glaring long, sharp daggers at his head.

"Is it really that far?" Roxas asked him, curiosity overtaking his annoyance now. "What is it?"

"You'll see when we get there," Axel replied, a mischievous grin apparent in his voice. "Be patient, it's not so far now."

"... I'm wondering if I should be afraid of what you're going to show me," Roxas muttered, following Axel closely now. Axel finally glanced back at the teen, though only for a second, before returning his attention to the path ahead.

"That's for you to decide when we get there," the older Nobody answered truthfully, before bringing a hand up to ruffle Roxas's hair even as they walked. Roxas knocked his arm away quickly, making an angry sound like a growl and a groan.

"Cute."

"Shut up."

--

Obviously, I took my time to write this one. xD And I even put some thought into where Axel is taking him, don't worry... But! Don't assume it's something OMGSOGRAND or anything like that! Hahaha, I'm not that creative... Haha, it's just. Well, you'll see. :3 Please don't be as upset as I was when I found out that the first of the "(insert number that I've forgotten) Wonders of Twilight Town" was only considered a wonder because of Rai's screw-up. XD; "OMG IT CHANGES, Y'KNOW." Hahaha, though that did amuse me... anyway, you know the deal. :0

**_REVIEW_**, and then I'll be happy and stuff. –waves to Trysta- :D Hiiii! (random shameless plug. x.x GO CHECK OUT DEEPSHADOWS2'S WORK, especially if you like Harry Potter fanfiction. She and her friend have tons. o.O Tons, I'm telling you.)

... er. Yeah. Back to the subject of Nobody Keep Secrets: reviewwwwww. Whee. I wanna know what you think, be it good or bad. n.n;;


	3. He Never Knew

Thank you all for the VERY GENEROUS feedback! I really do appreciate knowing what you specifically think about the fanfic and my writing, honestly. –hugs for all-

Anywho... Interesting. O.o This took a bit longer because Spring Break's over. –twitch- Either way, it's here. It's a bit queer. You'll all get used to it eventually. :3

Enjoy? Please try. -dies- And don't think I had thought up some genius place Axel was bringing him, because I hadn't. x.x;; It's not that glamorous. ... and no, it isn't his bedroom. XD You'll see, it just isn't all that SECRET-y or anything like that. It's still only the beginning, after all. n.n;;

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, no da. :x

-

Chapter 3 – He Never Knew

-

_Even if..._

_Even if I had the chance to tell him now, I doubt I would have. Even if he were standing right here in front of me, that stupid, cocky look on his face..._

_I couldn't tell him. He was always the first to say it, and I'd just reply with an, "Mmhm," and a nod, looking away like it was shameful. Like we were shameful. Well, I'm not ashamed anymore (though I can still never say those words, even as just a whisper to a far-off memory). _

_But doesn't matter anymore._

_It's too late. I'm even forgetting the way he used to say, "I lo—_

--

"Here we are!" Axel's arms opened like he was accepting a hug from someone, as he spun around in the grey-and-white mist. Roxas, meanwhile, frowned in disappointment.

"... this is it?" he asked, watching Axel without amusement as the older male stopped his turning to look at Roxas.

"Hmm? Oh, well, I mean this _place_ isn't what I wanted to show you, really...," Axel admitted, a sheepish grin spreading over his face. "It's more like... well... wait. You'll see, just a few more adjustments."

Roxas looked even more annoyed now, having pretty much been dragged out to what he was sure was the middle of nowhere in Dark City, which was worse than just the middle of nowhere. At least in nowhere, there weren't dangerous Heartless afoot, lurking in the mists.

"Hurry up," Roxas stated, feeling just a bit uneasy and even anxious. He really had no clue _where_ they are, only that it involved a lot of walking to get to it and that he'd nearly gotten lost when he looked back briefly to see whether or not something had really brushed against him. Roxas reflexively rubbed his right forearm with his left hand, remembering the chilling cold that had spread across it when he'd felt whatever it was that touched him do so.

Because he had looked back, Axel's already faint red and black outline had faded away nearly completely and Roxas worriedly ran forward to find him so fast that he ended up nearly running the taller Nobody over. Axel had laughed when he tried to explain what had happened, and while Roxas had certainly embarrassed himself, he didn't feel like being caught alone in the fog again. From that point until they reached their current location, he ended up walking side by side with Axel, despite the light teasing he got from the redhead for doing so.

Truly, Axel hadn't minded. He watched the blonde from where he was standing now, Roxas's face staying stoic as stone, though his clear eyes betrayed every strand of annoyance, impatience, and exasperation that ran across them. Oh, how the kid amused him. He thought he could muse to himself in peace when Axel was able to nearly read his thoughts through those eyes of his. Or, well, at least read his emotions anyway.

"Hey, Rox," he called. That snapped the blonde out of his daze, Roxas looking up at him curiously. Axel inwardly smiled. "I lied."

Confusion, annoyance (as he couldn't seem to run from it with Axel around), and suspicion flitted across the boy's sky blue eyes.

"... you what?" Roxas asked, and Axel could already imagine the boy punching the daylights out of him.

"I lied," he repeated, closing what little distance they had between each other so that he was standing right in front of the blonde. Roxas hadn't noticed earlier, but it seemed the mist had cleared up quite a bit. He should've realized when he was able to see Axel spinning earlier; he'd moved quite a few feet away when he had done that.

"Lied?" Roxas was still confused.

"What are you, a parrot?" Axel said, looking down at Roxas with an odd sort of superiority. It was only now that Roxas realized just how much power the red-haired Nobody had over him out here... he could do anything and no one would know.

He now felt the cold ball of fear that had decided to curl up in his insides, suppressing the shudder it threatened to give him.

"Lied about what though?" Roxas questioned, stepping back a bit. He wasn't sure if his voice was raising in volume, but he didn't know who else's voice was echoing in the thinning fog around them. "What did you lie about?"

"Chill, chill," Axel reassured him, holding his hands up in innocence. "I lied about us really being where we're supposed to be, that's all!" He couldn't help but laugh when he saw Roxas's guard fall completely with that statement. "What'd you _think_ I lied about?"

"No—nothing," Roxas denied, his voice becoming incredibly quiet. He looked away awkwardly, sure that if it weren't for the mist Axel would've seen his face turn a dandy shade of red. "... then what are we doing here?" He barely glanced up at Axel again.

"We had to wait a bit," the redhead explained, looking up. Roxas copied him, but didn't find anything noteworthy in doing so. "Yeah. It looks like we can go now."

"Huh?" He blinked, looking back down at Axel, but clearly not quick enough because the next thing Roxas knew, he was being carried like some damsel in distress in Axel's arms. "What are you doing!"

Axel didn't even bother to charmingly smile like some gallant prince, instead looking down at the blonde in his arms like he'd won a game of chance against him. Roxas would have, _should_ have, flailed to get away, but again his thought process was too slow for whatever Axel had planned as the older male soon began running. Roxas could find no other option but to hold onto Axel around the neck, especially when he saw that they were running towards a building

His hold only increased as he realized what the heck Axel was doing. The blonde buried his head in Axel's shoulder, feeling gravity shift vastly as the presumably insane Nobody ran with a very shocked Roxas up the side of the building.

Roxas, in his effort to ignore the fact that they were ignoring gravity, soon found himself paying attention to other things. The mantra of Axel's breathing, for one thing. It was steady and calm, despite his current actions, and Roxas found himself inadvertently matching his own breathing to it.

"Hey... hey!"

Roxas breathed in sharply, looking up. Axel furrowed his brows in bemusement.

"... well, er, we're here," Axel replied to Roxas's confused stare, carefully putting the boy down. "For real, too," he added when the blonde gave him a disbelieving glare.

"Hn." Roxas walked away, intent to look over their newer surroundings and not have to give Axel any more unneeded attention. He folded his arms in front of his chest, appearing closed off to the rest of the world.

"Don't worry, this isn't it," Axel called to him, having not moved.

"You didn't _lie_ again, did you?" Roxas asked, turning his head to give the redhead another icy, blue glare.

Axel tried not to appear amused. "No, I didn't. Just look." He pointed in the direction opposite of where they'd climbed up just a few moments before. Roxas was hesitant, thinking that it was another ruse, but obeyed nonetheless.

At first, he couldn't see anything but a dense patch of fog. Soon, though, it moved over and Roxas narrowed his eyes at the sparkling of light that had begun to appear.

"What is..."

"Kingdom Hearts." Roxas jumped, Axel having come up beside him without him noticing.

"Kingdom Hearts...?"

Axel rolled his eyes, smirking. "I already asked if you were a parrot, don't make me repeat myself." Roxas quickly looked away, not wanting to seem too inquisitive now.

"What is it?" he finally asked, the fog have almost dissipated to a point that he could see almost the entire outline of the glimmer of light. It was small, and... heart shaped? It looked very far away, but Roxas could tell it was probably rather close. Just... small.

"I thought Xemmy already told you," Axel questioned, raising an eyebrow. Roxas shook his head, though he had to admit he'd heard the name of the light several times. "Oh, well... it's a collection of all the hearts that the Heartless steal. They're returned here by the Ke—"

Axel stopped, suddenly, appearing as though he'd never spoken.

"Hmm?" Roxas urged him to continue. "By the what?"

"We'll be getting our own hearts from this thing," Axel changed the course of subject, appearing serious now. Roxas thought that the change was strange but didn't press further. "... if Xem's plan works, we'll be human again."

Roxas watched the heart in the distance sparkle and shine like a tiny moon or a large star.

"What's it like?" he asked, innocently. Axel gave the blonde an odd look. Roxas continued, "You know, being human?"

"Oh. It's... y'know, basically. Uh," Axel noted the slight frustration that appeared in Roxas's eyes, probably because the boy couldn't remember a thing about who he was before. "Well, you'll see!" He tried to smile to make up for his lack of a response, but it was a clearly weak expression.

Roxas stared up at him with a look that stated, 'You didn't answer me.'

Axel sighed, turning his gaze away. "Well, my life wasn't all that great, so... I shouldn't really be the one to tell you. You'll eventually see for yourself."

The blonde appeared disappointed in the answer but didn't ask anything more on the topic. Besides, he had slightly regretted asking about it in the first place when he heard Axel's statement about his life not being 'all that great.'

They stood there for a few more moments, though Roxas wasn't quite sure why. He tried to look at Axel out of the corner of his eye, but the red-haired man wasn't doing anything besides staring straight ahead, arms crossed. Were they waiting for something else to happen? Roxas returned his attention, or at least tried to, to the distant Kingdom Hearts.

Soon, Roxas heard a low growl coming from the sky and realized that grey and black clouds were returning. He looked to Axel for what to do now, but still the older Nobody didn't move. Instead, he appeared to be mumbling something incoherently to himself.

"... Axel?" No response. Roxas tilted his head in confusion, narrowing his eyes. "Are you alright?"

"It seems its demise was so much less than tame," Axel finally spoke aloud, though he sounded like he was reciting something from memory. Roxas nearly jumped from the sudden statement.

"What's that mea—"

"For time can kill most everything but our names," the taller Organization member continued, cutting off Roxas's question. Roxas looked taken back, wondering what he meant. And then Axel turned his eyes towards Roxas again, a half smile spreading on his lips.

"Two and a half inches carved into pine," Axel stated, uncrossing his arms, "the heart on the tree lasts longer than mine."

Roxas frowned in bemusement. "What do you mean?"

"It's a song!" Axel laughed, suddenly bringing a hand up to ruffle Roxas's hair, though the blonde saw it coming and pushed his arm away before it could get too near. "Don't look so threatening all the time, have fun."

The blonde merely glowered further, turning away from Axel in exasperation. "I doubt I look threatening at all to you."

"Hah, yeah," Axel agreed. Roxas shot a warning look at him, clearly telling the redhead not to mention anything about him being 'cute' or a 'dollface' or anything of the sort. "Ah, don't be that way!"

"Let's just go," Roxas said, having become exasperated by his current company. He should've just... stayed home. "Why'd we come here anyway?"

"I wanted to show you Kingdom Hear—"

"Yeah, right! Why bring _me_?" Roxas turned on Axel now, much to the older male's surprise. "What else were you planning, huh? You're so... _weird_, why do you keep bothering me? Demyx, too! You both are a couple of... ugh." He couldn't even find the right word to describe Axel and Demyx. "Can we just go home now?"

Above, the sky rumbled loudly and a flash sparked across. Roxas flinched when he saw the lightning, though not noticeably. Rain soon began to drip down, leaving dark spots on the rooftop they were standing on. At first, the spots were far apart, but soon they came closer together. Roxas looked back up at Axel, waiting for a reply.

Finally, Axel nodded wordlessly, the look on his face keeping a stoic appearance. No guilt or regret for bringing Roxas, just stillness with a touch of superiority, as if he naturally thought of himself above others. His face bore no emotion, faked or real (not like that half was possible), as if Roxas hadn't lashed out at him without reason. Probably because he had no heart to care, right?

Roxas, however, felt some odd wave of regret. Or at least a shadow of what he was sure regret must've been like. It wasn't real, couldn't have been real. He'd probably unconsciously learned it from watching the others' reactions back at the Castle.

After all, that was how he learned what being happy was. Larxene had a sadistic grin on her face every time she managed to pin some other hapless Organization member to the wall during an argument. Axel got a smug smile on his face every time he bested Demyx, which was rather often. Demyx looked quite happy every time he played his sitar, though his sitar playing would give everyone else very annoyed feelings.

He even learned how to be sad from these Nobodies' shadows of emotion. He hadn't used that one yet, but he was sure it was related to what he was 'feeling' right now...

It must've been hard to be fully human, Roxas decided. Because then he couldn't ignore the voice inside that said to feel sorry, to apologize to Axel for snapping at him. Of course, Axel didn't look like he cared one bit as he silently led the blonde back to the Castle That Never Was, staring straight ahead as if he were walking alone. He had brought Roxas down the building the same way they'd come up, though the blonde was barely aware of anything as it happened. He had been deep in thought and still was, as they walked the same path they had taken earlier.

Roxas walked a bit slower to see if Axel would notice. By now, the fog had almost completely cleared up and seemed to have become the black, crying clouds rolling overhead. The rain flattened Roxas's blonde hair against his face, and he swept his bangs away with a hand to keep his sight clear. He noticed as Axel's pace also decreased, showing that he at least remembered the younger Nobody's presence.

The rain was soon falling heavily all around them and Roxas shuddered in the familiar chill as it bled through his clothes and into his skin. Water dripped down from his bangs, which had decided to fall into his eyes again, sometimes dripping blearily into his eyelashes or coldly onto his nose. He breathed a heavy sigh in the rain. It wasn't at all like the last time they'd walked through it. Axel's close proximity had been able to warm him then, along with the older male's sarcastic words that would come every so often to perhaps stir a more verbal response from the blonde (a tactic that only began working when Roxas grew something called awareness and his patience with Axel ended, some odd number of weeks after Roxas's first appearance).

_If Demyx were here..., _Roxas imagined the older blonde as he briefly closed cerulean eyes. He could already see the sitar player splashing happily through the shallow puddles, reveling in the almost musical beat the rain managed to repeat in the hollow alleyways of Dark City. That man could make a song out of anything, the boy had soon realized after meeting him, having started singing randomly made up lyrics to the sound of Roxas's echoing footsteps in the Castle.

His first impression had been slight confusion, followed by amazement. And then the annoyance came, especially when Demyx would whisper little ditties to the teen's _breathing_ patterns. It all ended up making Roxas feel quite self-conscious around Demyx from then on, wondering if the music-loving Nobody would try to make a song out of everything he heard.

Roxas found himself wondering if Demyx wearily hummed while sleeping, too, before having reality literally smack itself back into his attention. He made an almost silent sound of surprise, opening his eyes to a blur of red hair, darkened by the rain, melting into the black of Axel's Organization coat.

"Why'd you stop?" he asked, looking up and stepping back rather quickly to avoid any further contact. His answer didn't come from Axel, however, and the words, 'Speak of the devil,' suddenly sprang to life in Roxas's head as he recognized the voice that did reply.

"Roxy! Ax, where'd you bring him?" Demyx gave Roxas a small wave as he looked around Axel's being before bringing his turquoise eyes back up to the fiery Nobody's face. The blonde sensed that Axel seemed a bit... incensed for whatever reason, but merely chalked it up to bad timing on his part. Axel annoyed him for no good reason sometimes, so eh. It was probably his turn.

"Nowhere," Axel curtly replied, dodging the other male's eye contact without another thought. He looked elsewhere, appearing focused on something far away in his mind.

"Ahaaa," but Demyx certainly didn't sound convinced. He gave the redhead a mischevious grin, folding his arms subconsciously against the cold _and_ Axel's indifference. "Sounds like there was more to it than just that. Ehhh, Roxas? Hm?" Demyx urged the younger blonde on, and if he'd been standing closer Roxas got the feeling he'd be getting nudged rather forcefully with a shoulder or elbow.

Roxas merely blinked up at him in bemusement and wondered why he sounded like he knew a lot more than he probably did.

"I... don't know," he answered, unsure if Axel wanted to keep where he brought him a secret or what. "What's it sound like to you?" Roxas instead asked, genuinely curious as to what Demyx meant. Maybe he did know? Then why didn't Axel just offhandedly answer and walk onwards?

"Oh, you know...," Demyx drawled, and to Roxas's confusion, Axel gave the taller Nobody a rather heated look of warning. Demyx, however, went on to say, "Some far-off getaway for just the two of you. Ah, how fun!"

The newest Organization member looked more and more perplexed by his words. "... a what?"

Demyx nearly opened his mouth to say more but Axel's hand was soon sprawled all over his face, much to both his and Roxas's surprise, and it silenced him for the time being. Axel, meanwhile, looked terribly bored and soon pushed Demyx out of the way and continued walking forward, considerably more slouched than earlier. Roxas watched Demyx teeter backwards before he finally fell with a squeal into circle of small, dark puddles.

"Okay?" Roxas asked him, before glancing up to see if Axel was going to get very far if he helped up the older blonde. Actually, the fire-user had stopped in his tracks and suddenly looked quite interested in the ground, one of his hands, and then the sky.

In other words, he was waiting for Roxas to hurry up so they could get going already.

"I'm _fine_," Demyx took his time finishing 'fine' to show that he really was alright and accepted Roxas's outstretched hand to pull himself up. Roxas had to put all his weight onto the other side of his body to bring the much taller Nobody back up, nearly falling down himself once Demyx was standing. The sitar player thanked him and ruffled his hair, to which Roxas scowled.

At this time, Axel had begun walking again (albeit, still taking his time with each step) and Roxas and Demyx caught up with little effort, the older one grinning a Cheshire cat smile as if he knew something neither of the other two knew.

In all actuality, it was quite the opposite.

-

"Where've you two been?" Larxene drawled as Axel and Roxas appeared in the large entrance to the Castle That Never Was. Then her eyes caught sight of the rather muddy Demyx and she looked fiercer. "And for heart's sakes, Demyx, what the hell did you traipse around in!"

He chuckled weakly, apologizing loudly and soon pointed accusingly at Axel when he was sure the redhead wasn't looking to show whose fault it _really_ was. Roxas couldn't suppress the amusement that rose to his clear eyes, even as Larxene attempted to use Demyx as a moving target for her kunai.

"I hope Xemnas turns you into a Dusk," Larxene growled, turning away from him and back to her original points of focus. Demyx stuck his tongue out at her, before quickly hiding behind Roxas, if rather poorly.

"... so?" she asked again, receiving no reply from Axel nor Roxas.

"Nowhere," Axel repeated his earlier answer, a slight smirk curling at the side of his lips this time.

Larxene looked dissatisfied with the answer but didn't press further, knowing she wouldn't get any more of an answer no matter how many times she questioned _Axel_. Unlike a lot of the other men in the Castle, in her opinion, she knew he could not be influenced if he did not want to be. Instead, she walked in the opposite direction they were going.

Demyx sighed once she was out of sight, soon mumbling a string of rather offensive curses about the only female Organization member. Roxas glanced up at him when he heard certain words, but stayed silent. He could ask Axel what Demyx meant later.

"... ahem." Axel had halted again and Roxas nearly ran into his back again, though was stopped this time by Demyx's hands on his shoulders.

"What now?" Roxas asked, sounding a bit impatient with the second stop.

"Why are you still following me?" Axel questioned simply and Roxas realized this was a rather obvious question. Why _had_ he continued to follow him, when he could just as easily have branched off to go back to his room and... do whatever?

"Oh uh...," Roxas looked down awkwardly and searched for a more valid answer than he'd just 'forgotten' he didn't need to follow after Axel like a lost child or puppy anymore. "I don't know."

"He looked lonely?" Demyx offered, ends of his lips curling up in another smile. Roxas shook his head fervently, wanting the reason to be anything other than that. He didn't want Axel's company nor did he want to give him company. The pyro was odd and too... touchy. Of course, so was Demyx. Roxas brushed Demyx's hands off of himself, uncomfortably.

"How about you're still bored?" Demyx offered again, Axel now turned around fully to see just _what_ Roxas's reason might have been. He figured it was probably something simple like the blonde had forgotten they were already home, but seeing him search rather desperately for an answer to a rather unimportant question was so...

Endearing?

Adorable?

... cute.

Axel smiled. Roxas caught sight of this and he felt the heat reach his cheeks again.

"I wanted to tell you to never bring me to 'secret' places again," Roxas quickly stated, covering up his embarrassment with a rushed answer. Axel tilted his head in confusion and narrowed his eyes slightly, as if he hadn't heard right the first time.

"Hmm?"

"Bring Demyx or Larxene instead, next time," Roxas repeated his tone, though it was quieter than before now that he knew Axel was listening, and he quickly walked past Demyx and the redhead down the empty Castle hallways.

"Roxas!" He heard his name called out to him from behind but the blue-eyed boy didn't turn around or acknowledge it. Demyx certainly looked left out and he probably wouldn't have minded keeping Axel company, and Larxene...

Larxene always looked like she wanted _something_ to do and this was something. A something she, not Roxas, was interested in, too. He didn't give a flying Dusk if Axel had tried to show him the sun rising in the horizon over the ocean or something even remotely nice like that. Whatever Axel did, Roxas usually ended up annoyed or confused or wishing he could have just been asleep at the moment rather than there.

And within a few moments of reaching his room and stripping himself of his dripping cold uniform (after having shut the door and locked it, of course), Roxas fell into a welcome sleep on his bed. Everything... everything that fiery Nobody did tired him.

--

_If he was so tiring...  
_  
'It seems its demise was so much less than tame  
For time can kill most everything but our names'

_If he was so tiring then why...?_

'Two and a half inches carved deep into pine  
The heart on the tree lasts longer than mine'

_Why did his voice repeat on end in my head when I slept?  
_

-

A tad bit longer than my other ones! O.o;; But just a bit, probably not all that noticeable, haha. I really hope my writing style isn't so... furry and hard to understand. x.x;; I don't read over what I write because I think it's boring, haha. I really ought to, though... T.T;; Anyway, I've noticed (while reading other Organization-centric fanfics) that different authors have different theories regarding the lifestyles of Nobodies! o.o;; Yes, I know, probably not that interesting to you all, but I like to see the different views everyone else has. Anyway, one of my new favorite fic-authors brings up the idea that Nobodies aren't like real people in several of her stories, therefore they don't need to sleep or anything like that. xD I'm mentioning this because I've suddenly (yes, suddenly. I'm writing this in that preview thing right now o.o) realized that some of my readers probably disagree with my own ideas. IF YOU DO... x.x;;; Please don't attack me? Hahahaha. -sideglance- And don't get disappointed when I turn them OOC in this thing, NAMELY when it comes to dear old Roxy. D: Pre-Twilight Town Roxas wasn't given much of a chance to shine and when he did shine, he was usually just... there. -cough- There and fighting. Or staring. o.O; Or... muttering replies to Axel. And then there were fairly minor characters like Demyx (I say minor because he really only appeared twice -woe-) who was given a fanbase because he was just... so... YAY. Demyx really makes me happy. XD I was secretly hoping he would return after being defeated. -snivel-

EEP. And nearly forgot to mention, thank you to Blackwind for reminding me in a review. x.x;;; The 'song' lyrics I had Axel recite actually belong to a friend of mine. :3 He was very nice to let me do what I will with his words, so uh... THANK YOU, KIBSY. -hugs&glomps&luff- n.n Ehehe.

Now then... **_REVIEW_**, and whatnot, please? I stay up very late doing these things. –mumbles- xD


	4. Actual Reality

So, here's the fourth chapter. O.o I had problems. You'll see them when you read. Roxas is secretly soft-hearted, despite not having a heart... and Axel is just a confusing individual. And Demyx is just annoying. 8D But I adore Demyx nonetheless.

Hopefully, you could enjoy this chapter despite how djsdjsdkalsjdk it gets. o.o;;

Disclaimer – Um. I'm hardly Tetsuya Nomura, so... yeah. There.

-

Chapter 4 – Actual Reality

-

_Determined, proud, sly, and that terribly sarcastic tone of voice of his..._

_Hearts, he was annoying. But I know that even if we had met in some other way, in some other life... we'd end up the same way we ended up in this life._

_Correction, this 'half-life.'_ _Am I right?_

_While my Other Half was out doing who-knows-what, I was busy dealing with _him_. I wonder who had the tougher job; saving many worlds at the same time or trying to keep a problematic... relationship... silent? I'll never get used to that word._

_He kept his mouth shut, even at the end. And even so... I wanted to hear him acknowledge it. Us, I mean. More than what he said, though his ambiguous words certainly allowed me a rather bitter smile in spite of my Other's complete obliviousness._

_It was amusing. I should've known he'd... leave... in such a manner._

_There are too many words and ideas I may never get used to._

--

For the next few days, he didn't even have to try to avoid the redhead like he usually did. Axel hadn't spoken to him since the day he had brought him out to see Kingdom Hearts' vague form in the sky.

It would've been unsettling (and at first Roxas thought something was wrong), but the blue-eyed boy didn't dwell on it. It just wasn't important. It wasn't like he was losing anything important in Axel if they never spoke again; he hardly knew the 8th Member at all, really.

Roxas figured something was up that first day, of course, when he didn't wake up to Axel appearing in his room and escaping from some other Organization member whom he'd annoyed. He had opened his eyes to the already-familiar darkness of his room, the only light leaking into the room coming from the crack underneath his door. The rather useless window at the right of his bed had showed the still-stormy skies of Dark City, the rain having gone on through the 'night.'

He even waited a few moments in the still darkness for Axel to pop in randomly through a shadowy portal and hide in his closet, but nothing like that happened. And so the blonde went on with his day, half of him still waiting for the fire-loving Nobody to randomly pester him about this and that or, more importantly, question him about the events of the day before.

And then a couple more days went by. It came to the point where he would pass Axel in one of many of the Castle That Never Was's hallways wordlessly and not even think to look back and see if the redhead acknowledged him.

If he had, he would've seen Axel glance back at him every single time.

-

"Don't you _miss_ him?"

The sitar player's voice was beginning to grow gratingly irritating to Axel, as this question had been posed way too many times that day. That week. All the time.

Axel turned his head away from the taller blonde who had decided to bend over onto Axel and invade his personal space, trying to peer into the pyro's eyes for more answers than what he'd been getting thus far. It was a repeated routine, done over and over in hopes of some new answer. Demyx was either naive, trying to annoy Axel on purpose, or possibly both.

"Who _cares_?" he replied as he always did.

"I do," Demyx answered simply and honestly. He scowled and stood up straight again, before flopping down beside Axel where he was sitting. The redhead scooted away a bit, visibly uncomfortable with the close proximity of his fellow Nobody.

They were both seated on one of the balconies of the Castle, overlooking the skyscraper-filled City That Never Was, their legs dangling carelessly over the unprotected edge. Xemnas sorely needed walls or some kind of fencing in these kinds of places, no matter how much more sinister a dangerous walkway was. As if any of the other Organization members wanted to fall to some horrible total nonexistence thanks to some little scenery idea.

"Go away already," Axel stated, glaring wearily. "Not-life wouldn't feel half as sucky if you weren't around to keep reminding me of things."

Demyx frowned, appearing sincerely hurt. Axel knew otherwise. A shadow of what would've been hurt had merely flit across the blonde's face at the appropriate time. No hearts, no feelings. No anything.

"And it's _that_ kind of attitude that is making you so miserable, not me," Demyx retorted, crossing his arms and turning his body the other way, as far as their seating arrangement would allow.

Axel glowered for a few more moments, well aware of the fact that Demyx's eyes demanded an apology at the back of his head.

As if he was going to give one.

"Forget this," he muttered, swiftly rising to his feet and striding back inside, barely acknowledging the fact that Demyx tried to drag himself along by quickly grabbing hold of the end of Axel's Organization coat before the blonde fell over himself in his attempts to keep Axel close by.

"Axel!" Demyx yelled, just as the redhead cut him off by walking inside and shutting the door behind himself loudly. Axel sighed once he was in and away from number 9, relieved, but knew he'd have to keep walking if he wanted the silence to stay. Glancing both ways quickly, Axel went right and walked quickly down the hallway with the nearest turn so he could seemingly disappear behind it.

Moments later, Demyx burst into the scene as well, but obviously too late. He glared at his mental image of Axel, seeing as how he would probably have to wait a while before he could do the same to the real thing.

Axel, meanwhile, was making his way quietly down one of the many, many, many hallways of the Castle That Never Was. He sincerely wished that its name were true at the moment. Well, that was untrue. He sincerely wished its name were true most of the time, not just the moment.

Especially after that odd incident with Roxas. Just what the hell happened there, anyway?

The redhead wasn't one to angst. Really... who ANGSTED nowadays? That was the job of the lonely, avenging hero of the story, right? Not the villain. Especially one so truly, honestly heartless. But this was no ordinary story.

The hero was a boy with bright, blue eyes and the widest smile around. And one of the so-called 'villains' was his other half. Is... his other half.

Axel turned another corner, his arms folded in thought across his chest as he walked. His expression held nothing but boredom in his gaze, but inside that mind was an odd clock ticking. Definitely odd. Definitely... wrong. Or was it right?

There were always two sides to a story. Two sides to an epic of heroics and villainy. One could hear the triumphant tale of the hero and his companions... or would you rather listen to the more lonely truth of the villains who can't love?

Axel mused like this often nowadays. He missed emotions, really. He missed the true feeling of _missing_ something. All he had were shadowy flickers that would drift across that empty hole in his chest. But it wasn't like anyone else in that Castle was better off... correct?

But at least they looked forward to something. Especially Xemnas, man, he was really looking forward to having a heart again. Even at the cost of...

-

Roxas just couldn't get his hair to work. No matter what, it always just... stuck up on that one side of his head. The blonde frowned at his reflection, ungloved fingers running through his hair several times over. All that gave him was a bad case of static attack.

"Rrrgh." The boy shook his head, and ran over to his bed to flop on it in boredom-disguised-as-despair. There wasn't much to do around the Castle... Demyx would waste time playing that sitar. Larxene read rather questionable novels. Vexen... what the hell DID Vexen do? Well, Vexen lurked that lab of his, right? Right... right.

And what did Roxas do? Nothing. But hopefully that'd change soon. There was supposed to be a meeting later that not-day concerning a certain Castle Oblivion and what was going down over there. He rolled over on the bed to give his ceiling a stare as opposed to drowning himself in his pillow.

Demyx kept mentioning how he wanted to go to Castle Oblivion to see the Visitor. Who the heck is the Visitor, though? Roxas frowned, stretching his arm out in front of him and reaching for the ceiling.

_Maybe he's going to be a new Organization member?_ Roxas thought. He watched his hand curl up then open, flexing every finger slowly, watching the bones and inner workings move as he did so.

It was then that the blonde realized that he lived a very riveting life. He nearly sighed but stopped himself as an odd sensation went through his head.

_ATTENTION, MEMBERS. MEETING... NOW._

-

Demyx glared at Axel from where he sat, the redhead doing his best to ignore the sitar player. Roxas watched the two from where he was, wondering what had happened between them. Then again, Axel just seemed to have a knack for ticking people off.

"So, Number Eleven, you are to take charge of Castle Oblivion," Xemnas finally stated, turning his attention towards the flowery member.

"Thank you, Superior," Marluxia replied, smiling, his voice suddenly reminding Roxas of a cardboard covering of some sort. Hidden intent, that is... Or maybe that was just the way he always spoke. Marluxia talked in a strange manner, anyway. "I'll make sure to carry out the duty I've been, so graciously, given."

"Don't thank me," Xemnas cut in. "Just don't screw up."

Marluxia's smile faded, the brunette seeming to deflate in his chair as he sat back and returned to a rather chilling appearance. Roxas noticed Larxene giving Number 11 a meaningful look, wondering what that was all about. But his attention was soon stolen by Xemnas once more.

"Now. For the rest of the Castle Oblivion crew..." The Superior appeared rather cunning now as he spoke, his fingers lacing together in front of him. "Numbers Four, Five, Six... Twelve—" Demyx made a rather happy sound, "—and..." He gave the group a final look around, as if trying to figure out who he missed.

Axel didn't move. He didn't want to leave, that would be leaving Roxas (... who _did_ currently hate him...) with Demyx (... who _he_ hated) and Demyx would probably tell the younger blonde all kinds of stories. _False_ stories. Then again...

The redhead turned slightly, giving Roxas a questioning look. Roxas blinked, unaware of where that came from, but he found himself looking back to Axel regardless. The 8th member gazed imploringly into Roxas's true-blue eyes, and soon the blonde felt uncomfortable under his stare. He was the first to break the contact, choosing to look at Xemnas again.

Axel's brows furrowed in indecision as he also returned his eyes to the leader. Finally, the fiery male slowly raised his hand.

"Axel?" One of Xemnas's eyebrows rose in question, though the rest of his face revealed him to actually be quite amused. "You want to volunteer?"

"... y-yeah, sure," Axel answered, Demyx shooting him a 'Whatthehell?' look. He noted it out of the corner of his eye, half-shrugging in reply.

"Great, then this is your team, Eleven," Xemnas spoke again to Marluxia, gesturing out grandly with his arms. "Hopefully you'll all return safely after our Visitor pays Oblivion a visit."

"Visitor?" Demyx finally spoke aloud, and rather loud at that. Larxene glared at the outburst.

"Yeah, the keybl—" she nearly answered, but Axel cut her off.

"Yes, a visitor, Demyx," he seemed to hiss. Dark green eyes shot warningly in Larxene's direction before glancing for less than a second in Roxas's.

Now Roxas was interested, but he still didn't speak.

"You'll see, Number Nine," Xemnas finally said, though his tone only made both Demyx and Roxas more curious. "And with that, meeting adjourned."

-

"Why'd you do that?" Demyx nearly shook the redhead but restrained himself. "Who knows how long 'til you come back!"

"Yeah, well...," Axel avoided his eyes, "... It just... seemed like a good idea to me." He faked a grin, something he did more than the usual Nobody, and turned to leave.

"Now I'll miss both of you..." Demyx said quietly, which was new.

"That's just too bad," Axel deadpanned, not looking back. "You'll find new friends. Lexaeus seems like he could come out of his shell more." Demyx frowned, but watched Axel with intrigued curiosity as the pyro began chuckling. "Heh, I'd suggest Zexion, but he'd probably punch you before you could say anything..."

"Axel," Demyx finally said, watching Number Eight's back as he walked away, "... Are you alright?"

To this, the redhead finally turned his head a bit, giving the sitar player a profile shot of his face.

"Yeah! Never better."

It was then that Demyx realized that maybe the markings under Axel's eyes were actually cleverly hidden tears.

-

o.o; I don't know. **_Review_**? Please? It's short, considering the wait, but it was really just a from-here-to-there chapter. x.x;;; I'm sorry. But yes, so things got a little weird, and um... I really don't know. –twitch- It's nearly six AM. Anyway, I'll update this again later-style.


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